4 Songs :)

So....remember in my last post how I said when my feelings exceed my ability with words I post songs? That's the case today so I'm posting 4 songs instead of a long blog entry.

Was feeling down about stuff:

Remembering my purpose:

Keeping my eyes on the goal:

Going back to my commission:

A Journal Entry 6.15.2011

Romans 3:12

They have all turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.

Dear Journal,

Only one verse tonight, but it’s hitting me hard. I know that God is in control of everything and omnipotent, but He also has emotions. And those last three words: Not even one… perhaps this could be considered a form of blasphemy, but it almost sounds broken hearted.

Not even one… The picture that comes to my mind is our Lord Jesus as he draws his last breath on the cross. And the world mocking and jeering at their savior. Not even one…

Not even one… I also see the church buildings that have been converted into shopping centers, bars, night clubs and more. Once beloved places of worship filled with people and singing and the treasured words of the Gospel spilling from their doors…now empty and silent. Not even one…

And my own heart. I see myself turning away, turning away from what I know is right. Committing adultery against my Savior by giving my heart away. I don’t want to be worthless! I don’t want to disappoint my Lord. It truly, truly is the deepest most ancient desire of my heart to live and die as he would have me.

Not even one… I want to be like Noah! I want to be like Abraham! I want to be like Deborah! I want to be like Mary! When no one was left who would do God’s will they stood firm. I want to be like Isaiah and Samuel, and when God calls my name I want to answer with all my heart, “Here I am, Lord! Your servant is listening!” And when he asks whom he shall send to the nations, the ghettos, the deepest, darkest, dirtiest holes of the earth that I would answer without hesitation, “SEND ME!” And that I would never, never, never look back!

Now, I'm the type of person that normally thinks in songs or music, and right now the song that is playing through my mind right now is a song I learned a Looooooooong time ago from Sunday School. It's always been my outlet for when my own words are no longer adequate to express the depth of emotion or the resolution of a decision to write down the lyrics of a song that does. So with that being said, I'll sign off with this simple song. My pledge and my psalm to my Lord.

I have decided to follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus

I have decided to follow Jesus

No turning back, no turning back

The world behind me the cross before me

The world behind me the cross before me

The world behind me the cross before me

No turning back, no turning back

Though none go with me, still I will follow

Though none go with me, still I will follow

Though none go with me, still I will follow

No turning back, no turning back

…..Not even once!

Forever and Always,

-Sarah

Vasos y Montañas

...I'm very tired! Been staying up until midnight some nights with my cousins and waking up at 6:30 to see them off to school. Of course this is all my choice, but that doesn't take away from the exhaustion I feel right now haha.

On the bright side, tengo un nueva amiga. Se llama Mari Carmen y ella tiene nuevo años. Ella es un ballerina en el grupo de danza de mi prima. She's such a little sweet heart and has firmly attached herself to me. During breaks she'll come sit next to me and talk a whole mess of words in Spanish pausing every now and then to allow me to answer a question, during which times I fumble and stutter out a half Spanish half English answer to which she will laugh and correct and continue on. At the end of each class she tells me, "Hasta proxima clase Sarah! Adios!" At least that I understand. Also the chirpy "Hola Sarah!" I receive from her along with a hug at the beginning of each class.

It surprises me that even though I've probably only spoken a handful of correct understandable Spanish words she still seems to genuinely like me and as I said, has attached herself to my person. In Chicago I've become used to being quickly accepted by children, but I've always accredited this to my ability to level in speech. I don't have that privilege here. I'm forced to communicate with half sentences, key words and a LOT of sign language.

And that's another thing! When it comes to sharing the gospel, I've always been able to rely on the techniques I've learned from Home Schooling, Child Evangelism Fellowship, Awana, VBS and teaching Sunday School. I know of course that I can never save a person. And even my words are given by God, but now it's in a different light. I realize just how true it is that we are vessels. That I am just an empty vessel. Without God's help I can't even preach His Word.

Here all my words in English mean nothing. Absolutely nothing. I have to rely TOTALLY on his help. Does this make me feel weak and insignificant? Chyeah! But He is strong. Do I feel lost and stupid? You bet! But He is holding me in the palm of His hand and has declared his everlasting love for me.

Psalm 103:11 "For as high as the heavens are above the earth so great is his love for those who fear him."

This trip is different from any other venture God has taken me on in that I find myself in a place where I feel so inadequate! Learning this language is beginning to seem more and more like the mountains that surround Puebla. Huge and immovable!

But do you know what is beautiful? Looking up at those mountains is exactly what gives me hope, because of two passages I memorized when I was in Awana.

Psalm 121:1-2 "I will lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, maker of heaven and earth."

Matthew 17:20 "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move MOUNTAINS. Nothing will be impossible for you.

Until next time dear reader!

Arrival and The Wizard of Oz

YES!!! I made it safe and sound to Mexico! Thank you to everyone who was praying for me! My God is good, everything went smoothly and he even took away my butterflies before our flight!

So now here I am in my family's home with my wonderful cousins. For our first day of attempting to communicate I think we did pretty well! They are able to figure out what I mean when I can't translate certain worlds to Spanish some of the time and I find I am able to do the same with them. There's a lot of laughing when none of us quite know how to explain something. I think we are going to become great friends by the time I leave though!

And now for the Wizard of Oz part: My prayer list! In an easy to remember manner :D I actually got this as a card from a dear friend before I left Chicago and it was so good I just had to share it with ya'll!

Now hopefully most of the people reading this have seen the Wizard of Oz because if not haha this is going to make NO sense but if that is the case just follow me on this I'll do my best not to sound like too much of a nut ;)

So I embarked on this adventure much like our fictional friends, in search and in high hopes of obtaining a few things.

1. Scarecrow - Brains - For Learning Spanish

Just like our friend was searching for his smarts, I am here primarily to learn Spanish so that I will be able to speak to the families of my kids in La Villita

2. Tin Man - Heart - For My Lord/For His People

This one actually has two: Pray that I would grow more solid in my relationship with God and that I would have compassion and love for the children at the orphanage

3. Lion - Courage - For Making Mistakes

It's gonna happen, and it's got to happen, pray for courage!

4. Dorthy - Faith - For Challenges

And pray that I would be challenged while I am here! As one author wrote: Real gold fears no flame. However those challenges come, pray that I would face them with unfaltering faith in the Most High God!

So there you have it! I love comments! Hopefully I'll be posting pictures soon!

3-2-1 MEXICO!

Hey!

That's right! In 3 days people, THREE DAYS I will be flying to Mexico where I will be living with extended family for 2 months. Now, if you've read my profile you'll have noticed that I list Mexican and Spanish as part of my nationalities unfortunately I only understand about 35% of spoken Spanish on my good days and I am able to respond correctly (with the right vocab and grammar) only about 20% of the time.

Now for a person who is intent on living and working in the largest Hispanic community of Chicago this is a serious problem (ya think?)! You see, while the children I tutor and mentor are mostly bilingual, very few of their parents are, and while at this point in my life my focus is mainly on the children, my desire is to minister to the families as a whole, and of course this is only more difficult with the obvious language barrier.

I knew God was calling me to La Villita when I was beginning my Senior yr. of high school. After I had graduated I took a year off to focus on my ministries while taking Spanish 101 and 102 at the community college in my area. But I knew that I was not going to learn the language unless I was completely immersed in the language.

I spoke with my parents about living with my grandparents in Mexico (who do not speak English) for 2 months. They agreed with me on the notion that I would learn faster if it was a matter of survival (haha). My mom then suggested that I look up some churches in the area and try to make contact to arrange for some service I could participate in so that I would not be idle or wasteful of my time. In the end, through some contacts at my church I found out about a Christian run orphanage located close to my grandparents home. They agreed to let me come and serve with them for part of my time.

And so my dear reader, here I stand on the brink of my departure. I have not been to Mexico in 11 yrs and, with the exception of my grandparents, have not seen most of my family down there for the same amount of time. It will be an adventure, that's certain! But I go with the Lord so all will turn out well :)